10 Years at the Opry
by CaseyL
Summary: At Rayna's 10 year anniversary at the Opry she and Deacon sing The Rivers Between Us. This one shot focuses on when they originally wrote the song 10 years earlier.


**When Deacon and Rayna sang "The Rivers Between Us" it got me thinking about when they may have written that song, especially since in the original script the song debuted at her Opry induction 10 years prior. This is a take on that time.**

##

Rayna walked into her kitchen scanning the scene that was before her. Maddie was biking around the house on her tricycle, Teddy was chopping vegetables by the stove, and Daphne was sitting in her bouncy chair cooing softly. It was the perfect life, two beautiful daughters and a loving husband who was always there for her. So why didn't she feel happier?

_It had been her first day back in the studio after her post-baby hiatus, and truth be told she was more nervous about recording again than being away from the girls. This had been the longest she'd been away from music. Even when she'd had Maddie she was right back to work within a month or two, back on the road in six. She tried not to think about the fact that maybe that had more to do with missing Deacon, than the music, but this time she had really committed to staying at home with her family. She had a second child now, Teddy's child. They were a real family, bound together forever through the blond hairs that sat on top of their baby's downy soft head. _

_By the end of the five months she really felt like she was in a good place. She saw a future of movie nights and ice skating trips, and dance recitals and she was content. It may not be what she'd dreamed of at 16, but it was a hell of a lot better than daddy puking up the day's drink in the bathroom while the baby wailed in her crib._

_And then she'd stepped into the studio today. There he was tuning his guitar in the corner, joking with the rest of the band, and the longing was back. The longing she'd tried so hard to push down during the last five years, the longing she thought she could get rid of with the addition of a child who didn't have his deep blue eyes and crooked smile. _

_Rayna took a deep breath and walked over to him. "Hey, there, playing anything good?" Deacon looked up and flashed her one of his brightest smiles that she knew were only for her. "Hey Ray, you look amazing. You sure you just had a baby?"_

"_No need for flattery Deacon, I'm still 10 pounds overweight and my skin hasn't been right since I started breast feeding."_

"_I don't know," Deacon said as he softened his voice and moved a little closer to her making her gasp for breath. "You're still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."_

_Rayna stood there motionless for a moment trapped in the bubble that always seemed to form when the two of them stood too close together. She wanted to reach out and touch him; his face, his hair, his mouth…she was lost in a daze, staring at the way his lips pursed as he breathed, when Bucky walked in shaking them from their trance. _

"_You guys ready? How are you doing with new material Rayna?"_

"_I've got a couple of good up tempo songs Buck that I wrote over the last month, but I'm still missing a ballad."_

"_Well, all the best ballads you guys wrote together, so maybe you should schedule some time just the two of you to write."_

_This wouldn't be the first time that she and Deacon had written together since she'd married Teddy. They had started back with that on the first tour, but most of those were written on the bus with the band around, and none of them were love songs. Rayna felt the butterflies in her stomach, but she was determined to prove that things were different now, that she was committed to her family. "That sounds great, Deacon? Tomorrow at 7:00? Teddy should be home from work by then and he can watch the girls."_

_Deacon fiddled with one of the strings on his guitar. "Yeah, I could do that. Do you want to write at my place like we used to?"_

_Rayna knew that was a bad idea, that she'd really be taking a chance being alone with Deacon at his house writing a love song, but before she could think better of it she heard the sound of her own voice agreeing, and it was done. _

_The rest of the session had gone well. She and the band had gelled just like she'd never been gone, and the tracks she's written while stuck at home with Daphne were sounding really good with the addition of guitar and the bass. _

Now she was home again, with her perfect loving family, and instead of feeling relieved after a long day of work, she felt tired and apathetic. Not that she didn't love her children, she adored each sticky fingerprint and sneaky smile. She'd always wanted kids, but when she'd pictured them all piled up with her cuddling and singing songs in a big four poster bed, the man laying beside her playing guitar and singing along was definitely not the man standing behind the counter warming up mac and cheese.

She thought the fantasy would have faded by now, and in many ways it had. She no longer felt the need to cry herself to sleep, but with the loss of that pain also went much of the joy. Rayna walked over to Teddy and kissed him lightly on the cheek before going over to Daphne and picking her up.

"How was the recording session?" Teddy asked. "Good to be back?"

Rayna nodded her head. "I'm actually going to do some writing tomorrow night, if that's okay with you. We need to come up with a ballad for the record. You'll have to watch the girls."

"Who are you writing with?"

Rayna didn't like to lie to Teddy, but she also knew that this particular truth would probably lead to an argument that she did not want to have at this moment. "Just some members of the band. It shouldn't go too late."

"Alright, just call if it looks like you'll be late. That little one cries if she wakes up hungry and her mama isn't here."

Rayna smiled as she made faces at Daphne sending the little girl into a fit of laughter. "Well, I'll leave some formula in the fridge just in case. I'm going to take her up to her crib. I'll see you two later."

##

The next day Rayna stood outside of Deacon's house nervously pacing. The house lights were off, but the moon was bright that night, and she had no problem seeing in the dark of the night. The butterflies in her stomach were back as she saw him move through the house towards the door.

"Hey Ray. Come on in. I just made some sweet tea. I remember how you always used to drink that when we wrote."

Suddenly memories of pitchers of tea drunk between writing melodies and sweat soaked sex on the couch flooded back to Rayna. "Oh, I'm trying to cut back on my sugar, but you go ahead."

Deacon put the pitcher down on the table and picked up his guitar. Then he proceeded to plant himself on the floor. "On the floor?" Rayna asked. "Isn't that a little uncomfortable?"

"We always write on the floor Ray. What are you getting old?"

"I am not old Deacon Claybourne," and with that she plopped herself down next to him. Rayna settled in like they used to, pen and pad in hand, but each time she went to put words down on the paper they seemed cliché.

"You're not thinking with your heart Ray. This is a love song."

"I know what it is Deacon, I've written 'em before."

"You need to use real feelings, deep emotions that people will relate to." Deacon got quiet and looked down at his guitar. "Think about how you feel about Teddy, and use that."

Rayna couldn't even look at him, if she did she knew that he'd see right through her, see the façade that she put up for everyone else. "Marriage isn't like that Deacon. It's not all roses and romance and passion. I love Teddy, but it's not the stuff that songs are written about."

He knew he shouldn't push it, but he just couldn't resist. "Sounds kind of boring to me. Just cause you settle down with someone doesn't mean it has to stop being exciting. Hell, we were together eleven years and every time I looked at you I still felt that charge I got the first time I saw you singing at The Bluebird."

"And what about now? What do you feel now when you look at me?" Rayna felt the mood in the room shift the moment she asked the question and she regretted it right away. The air was heavy with the emotions that they always tried to keep bottled up, and he was sitting far too close for safety.

Deacon reached down placing his hand on her face, and stared deep into her eyes. "I don't think I'll ever lose that feeling when I'm around you. It's like lightning in a bottle inside of me that only you can uncork."

Before she even realized what she was doing Rayna closed the gap between them, kissing him with all the pent up yearning that she'd been trying to keep down for the last few years. Their mouths and tongues moved against each other's with a ferocity that was so intense that it scared Rayna how little control she had over herself at that moment. She felt the desire build up inside of her core and she knew there was only one thing that would quench it. But then she thought about her girls and about Teddy and she pulled back resting her forehead against Deacon's.

They stayed there like that for what seemed like forever each listening to each other's labored breathing. Finally, Rayna spoke. "We shouldn't have done that."

Deacon just nodded in agreement.

"It's so hard," she whispered.

"I know," Deacon replied. "For me too." He pulled back a little looking into her eyes. "Let's use it for the song, okay?"

Rayna nodded and picked up the paper and pen again. This time the words just flowed, and before she knew it they had a song; a sweet and painful, and personal ballad that she knew would be a hit because just like in the old days, it would be them pouring out their souls to each other on stage. She just hoped no one else would notice that's what it was.

##

Two weeks later they were at the Opry. It was a big night. Vince Gill surprised her by offering her an invitation to join, something she'd dreamed about since she was a little girl playing her mama's guitar. Standing there with Deacon beside her like he'd been from the very first time she'd played in the circle, it just seemed right to do their new duet.

"Thank you so much to everyone," Rayna beamed. "We're going to do a new one that Deacon and I wrote just a couple of weeks ago, hope you like it."

Deacon walked up so he was sharing the main mic with her, and the rest of the band faded into the background. She knew Teddy and the girls were standing just off stage in the wings, but it was a good song, and she knew it would be a hit, and that this moment, when all of country music's eyes were on her, was the perfect time to debut it.

She looked into Deacon's eyes as the piano music swelled.

"_The rivers between us are deep._

_And dark as the secrets we keep._

_We stand on the shores, time running by at our feet._

_Oh the rivers between us are deep._

Their faces were so close together, and every time they'd sing a verse they'd lean in to each other so their lips were just on the verge of touching. She could feel his warm breath on her and it only made her want to kiss him more.

_Our love is like the moon rising too fast, and fading too soon._

_This night will soon be gone, help me hold on._

_There are kingdoms to keep us apart._

_So we live out our lives in the dark._

_Love has a way of making you pay with your heart._

_There are kingdoms to keep us apart._

Rayna knew in that moment that the pain in her heart would never go away. She could have six more children with Teddy, live the ideal life, but her heart would always ache for the man standing beside her.

_Our love is like the moon rising too fast, and fading too soon._

_This night will soon be gone, help me hold on. Help me hold on."_

The tears were in both of their eyes when they sang the last note, and when Rayna looked off stage she could see that Teddy wasn't happy, but she'd deal with that later. Right now, this was their moment and she wasn't going to waste it.

##

When she got home from the party Teddy had put the girls to bed and he was waiting up for her in the dark. Rayna barely saw him when she entered, but then he spoke, startling her.

"It's always going to be him, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about Teddy."

"Don't treat me like a fool Rayna. I thought that when you agreed to have a second baby, a baby with me that you were saying you loved me, and that you were committing to the life we've been building together. I know I wasn't your first choice, but I thought having Daphne was a sign that you'd put your past behind you." Teddy struggled to get out the next sentence, as if speaking the man's name would conjure him up like a genie. "That you'd put Deacon behind you, but he's not going anywhere is he? You're going to love him for the rest of your life. He's always going to be the one."

"It was just a song Teddy. It's what we do. I'm married to you. I'm raising children with you. You need to stop obsessing over Deacon. There's nothing to worry about, alright?"

Teddy knew she was lying, but he nodded his head anyway. He had no one to blame but himself for being in this position. He had known when he did it that he was marrying another man's woman. He had just hoped that over time she'd come to love him the way she loved Deacon. Now he had no other choice but to continue hoping for that, no matter how slim the chance.

Rayna headed toward the stairs. "I'm exhausted, I'm ready to hit the hay. Turn the lights out when you head up okay?"

Teddy nodded his head in defeat. "Sure. Whatever you want Rayna."

Rayna walked up the stairs slowly. She knew she was hurting him, but she also couldn't help her heart. Rayna peeked in on the girls before heading off to bed. Their peaceful sleeping faces soothed her tormented soul. This right here, this is why she stayed, this is what was worth the pain.


End file.
